StuPid, stUpiD mE..
"My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own.." - If you don't know where that came from, check out Whitney Houstan's 'Saving All My Love'. A song about seeking love from a married man. Sigh..
Guess what, little e-diary. I sms-ed this to a friend on Tuesday.. masa kat Genting and I had nothing to do in the morning (no, they don't have Astro at the apartment..): "Hi sweetheart. I'm bored."
An innocent message kan? Not if the message was sent to a married man!! And guess what? THE WIFE replied: "Why are you calling my hubby that?"
Oh my God.. it's just so so so embarrassing! I mean, it's not like I'm having an affair with the married man pun. We're just friends. Good friends. He's someone whom I feel so comfortable with. In fact, there were times he acted more like a brother I never had. He's seen and listened to me cry, told me off when I needed some 'telling' and stood by me through thick and thin. I called him 'sweetheart' because he is such a sweetheart (most of the time la.. hehe.. sometimes, he can be a pain too...).
Point is, I shouldn't have done that, kan? Message someone's husband like that. You see, I always take things for granted. I took for granted that his wife doesn't read his messages; I took for granted that his wife would understand our relationship and our closeness; I took for granted that his wife knows that I call all my dearest friends 'darling, sweetheart and honey'. It's like Reym*ee calling me 'dear'. It's just a term of endearment..
Sigh.. Now I'm worried. Would Nina be angry or jealous of my relationship with Syuk? She knows we're just very good friends. But still.. What if she misunderstood my 'hi darling' messages to him? And what about Anita? How does she feel when I hug Prakash in front of her? What if Fred, Ghanesh and Maran decided to get married someday? Would their respective wives understand my relationship with them? And all those times I joked around with Ong.. how does Ruth feel? And what about Leila? All those times I hugged Taj in front of her...? And the times I hugged and flirted with Nelson or Jasbir (would Sharm be jealous?) or Faizul or Yushaimi or Joseph in the office. Would their wives be angry if they saw me with them? Sigh..
So I was thinking.. should I get to become a wife someday, what kind of wife would I be? One thing for certain, I wouldn't be reading my husband's messages or go through his phone. I won't check his e-mails and I won't look at his credit card bills. The thing is, I want to trust my husband completely. But what if I start having doubts about his love? Or if I start suspecting his infidelities?
Whatever lah.
For now, maybe I should just stop showing so much affection. Especially to my 'attached' guy friends. And I wish I could tell all my friends' wives: Hey, I'm no competition. Your husband sees me as a friend, and nothing more. Trust me, I'm not even wife-material to them..
Sigh.. A lesson learnt: Think before you speak. And think before you SMS..
"My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own.." - If you don't know where that came from, check out Whitney Houstan's 'Saving All My Love'. A song about seeking love from a married man. Sigh..
Guess what, little e-diary. I sms-ed this to a friend on Tuesday.. masa kat Genting and I had nothing to do in the morning (no, they don't have Astro at the apartment..): "Hi sweetheart. I'm bored."
An innocent message kan? Not if the message was sent to a married man!! And guess what? THE WIFE replied: "Why are you calling my hubby that?"
Oh my God.. it's just so so so embarrassing! I mean, it's not like I'm having an affair with the married man pun. We're just friends. Good friends. He's someone whom I feel so comfortable with. In fact, there were times he acted more like a brother I never had. He's seen and listened to me cry, told me off when I needed some 'telling' and stood by me through thick and thin. I called him 'sweetheart' because he is such a sweetheart (most of the time la.. hehe.. sometimes, he can be a pain too...).
Point is, I shouldn't have done that, kan? Message someone's husband like that. You see, I always take things for granted. I took for granted that his wife doesn't read his messages; I took for granted that his wife would understand our relationship and our closeness; I took for granted that his wife knows that I call all my dearest friends 'darling, sweetheart and honey'. It's like Reym*ee calling me 'dear'. It's just a term of endearment..
Sigh.. Now I'm worried. Would Nina be angry or jealous of my relationship with Syuk? She knows we're just very good friends. But still.. What if she misunderstood my 'hi darling' messages to him? And what about Anita? How does she feel when I hug Prakash in front of her? What if Fred, Ghanesh and Maran decided to get married someday? Would their respective wives understand my relationship with them? And all those times I joked around with Ong.. how does Ruth feel? And what about Leila? All those times I hugged Taj in front of her...? And the times I hugged and flirted with Nelson or Jasbir (would Sharm be jealous?) or Faizul or Yushaimi or Joseph in the office. Would their wives be angry if they saw me with them? Sigh..
So I was thinking.. should I get to become a wife someday, what kind of wife would I be? One thing for certain, I wouldn't be reading my husband's messages or go through his phone. I won't check his e-mails and I won't look at his credit card bills. The thing is, I want to trust my husband completely. But what if I start having doubts about his love? Or if I start suspecting his infidelities?
Whatever lah.
For now, maybe I should just stop showing so much affection. Especially to my 'attached' guy friends. And I wish I could tell all my friends' wives: Hey, I'm no competition. Your husband sees me as a friend, and nothing more. Trust me, I'm not even wife-material to them..
Sigh.. A lesson learnt: Think before you speak. And think before you SMS..
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