I aM sO sO So UgLY!!
Can I say that it was so so so so so difficult to find a dress that FITS??!!! I had to shop for more than TWO hours before I found this gorgeous white long-flowing satin dress. TWO HOURS!! And I'm not exactly fond of walking around, hopping from one shop to another..
First, Chen and her friend Alyssa found me a nice bridal gown kat Metrojaya.. it's long flowing and 'very' elaborate. BUT.. it's off-shoulders. 'Ah!!! Your tan!!!' Chen screamed. 'Maybe we can put lots of foundation,' the bright Alyssa suggested. We would have bought that one, if Alyssa didn't see a torn on the 'organza' material. (It's organza on the outside and satin inside - very the gorgeous..).
So.. in the end, Chen and I found this RM199 satin dress kat Colours. Phew.. thank God. And there is also a see-through shawl to cover my 'deformities'.
Sigh -- let me tell you that it's just so difficult to cari 'a baju that fits' for me. I am a size 12 now (that's translated to XL, I think!), but that's because I have a deformed body. My upper part of the body is weird - so only a size 12 would fit. Even then, it would look 'extra big' at certain areas but that is because I am not a size 12 entirely. (Am I making sense here?). I mean, at certain parts of my body, I am a size 7, at some parts I am a size 10 and at some parts I am a size 12. Giler tak...?
Urgh. My body's so deformed.
But there's hope that I'd find a man who'd see the beauty IN me. After all, Zuls wrote something in her blog today (okay la.. she's a woman.. but I'm sure, or at least hope, that there are men out there who think like her). She wrote about how physical attractiveness is not so attractive after all. To her, it's the personality and the attitude that matters. (Citing an example of how she'd rather have Azizi, who is obviously less gorgeous than Vince..)
To me, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. I must be 'physically' attracted to him to have a relationship with him. The bastard I am now 'seeing' is not physically attractive to many, but to me, I like his height, his firm body and his nice lips. So yes - I am physically attracted to him in that way, although I don't think many will share my views on that.
In relation to the bastard, I've made up my mind to stop all the flirtings. Nelson and Zelle both think that I'm just talking crap. That I will succumb to his 'pujuk-rayus'. But somehow, after parading in the fitting room semalam with loads of wedding dresses, I think it's time I put my foot on the ground.
The relationship is not going anywhere. He lies all the time, he treats me like shit sometimes, and he makes me feel like a slut MOST of the time. Not exactly husband material, kan?
So, while I don't want to shut him out completely, I will be less 'girlfriendly' lah. Ntah lah.. I hope he won't ask me out anymore and then maybe, just maybe, we can drift away from each other without me hurting too much.
Hmmm.. The hickeys are almost gone now. And maybe.. all the affections we had will disappear soon too..
Can I say that it was so so so so so difficult to find a dress that FITS??!!! I had to shop for more than TWO hours before I found this gorgeous white long-flowing satin dress. TWO HOURS!! And I'm not exactly fond of walking around, hopping from one shop to another..
First, Chen and her friend Alyssa found me a nice bridal gown kat Metrojaya.. it's long flowing and 'very' elaborate. BUT.. it's off-shoulders. 'Ah!!! Your tan!!!' Chen screamed. 'Maybe we can put lots of foundation,' the bright Alyssa suggested. We would have bought that one, if Alyssa didn't see a torn on the 'organza' material. (It's organza on the outside and satin inside - very the gorgeous..).
So.. in the end, Chen and I found this RM199 satin dress kat Colours. Phew.. thank God. And there is also a see-through shawl to cover my 'deformities'.
Sigh -- let me tell you that it's just so difficult to cari 'a baju that fits' for me. I am a size 12 now (that's translated to XL, I think!), but that's because I have a deformed body. My upper part of the body is weird - so only a size 12 would fit. Even then, it would look 'extra big' at certain areas but that is because I am not a size 12 entirely. (Am I making sense here?). I mean, at certain parts of my body, I am a size 7, at some parts I am a size 10 and at some parts I am a size 12. Giler tak...?
Urgh. My body's so deformed.
But there's hope that I'd find a man who'd see the beauty IN me. After all, Zuls wrote something in her blog today (okay la.. she's a woman.. but I'm sure, or at least hope, that there are men out there who think like her). She wrote about how physical attractiveness is not so attractive after all. To her, it's the personality and the attitude that matters. (Citing an example of how she'd rather have Azizi, who is obviously less gorgeous than Vince..)
To me, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. I must be 'physically' attracted to him to have a relationship with him. The bastard I am now 'seeing' is not physically attractive to many, but to me, I like his height, his firm body and his nice lips. So yes - I am physically attracted to him in that way, although I don't think many will share my views on that.
In relation to the bastard, I've made up my mind to stop all the flirtings. Nelson and Zelle both think that I'm just talking crap. That I will succumb to his 'pujuk-rayus'. But somehow, after parading in the fitting room semalam with loads of wedding dresses, I think it's time I put my foot on the ground.
The relationship is not going anywhere. He lies all the time, he treats me like shit sometimes, and he makes me feel like a slut MOST of the time. Not exactly husband material, kan?
So, while I don't want to shut him out completely, I will be less 'girlfriendly' lah. Ntah lah.. I hope he won't ask me out anymore and then maybe, just maybe, we can drift away from each other without me hurting too much.
Hmmm.. The hickeys are almost gone now. And maybe.. all the affections we had will disappear soon too..
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