cOmiNg Out of tHe DarK..
I watched Oprah today. Woke up at 8.30am.. watched some cartoons on Disney and then switched to StarWorld.
Yes.. a change, definitely. I've been waking up at around 10 these days that my mom is beginning to worry. 'Makes no difference if it's a weekday or weekend. You still won't wake up before 10..'
Which is true.. With the exception of Saturday (where I woke up at 6am), one won't catch me out of bed before 9am. Even then, they'd be lucky if they can get me out of bed before 9.30am.
Work starts at 10am for me, but I'd simply sail in an hour late. Do I care? Obviously not.
To be totally honest, I've been feeling like I'm going through life in the dark. I felt so lost and alone. Life seemed so empty and meaningless. I got annoyed easily, snapped at people conveniently, got touchy for no apparent reason and would be moody according to my fancy.
Then I watched Oprah. The talk today revolved around women and having children. Some were complaining that their lives had changed when the baby comes along.
'Haha.. I don't need a baby to feel so lethargic and alone.' I smirked.
And then this one woman (can't remember her name) stood up and shared. She said that you can't blame a baby for your misery. Life's like that. It's how you deal with things that matters.
It snapped me. I realise that I've been complaining too much. Just because I'm having a rough time with a guy, doesn't mean I'm entitled to depression.
So there are many jerks out there - men who don't deserve even half of my time or attention. But I can't let them affect me.
I got up from the couch and hit the showers. I looked around and realise that there are still loads of things to do. Wash the toilet, clean my closet, clear my dressing table.. basically, get my life in order.
The sad thing is, I've been neglecting myself. My room's in a mess; a true reflection of my life. They say that your room/house/car depicts your life. And if you look at my room and car, you know how messy my life is.
But today, I want to get my life back. I made a mental note to sort out my clothes, clean my bathroom and make my room more presentable. I want to start bothering again to brush my teeth and clean my face before I hit the bed each night. I have not used the facial masque I bought weeks ago, so maybe I should wear them tonight.. haha..
So work is bad, I realise. But by being grumpy, it wouldn't change anything kan? I might as well learn to enjoy it.. So I'm taking it easy at work. Ya Tuhan.. kerja memang lah banyak.. tapi I'm taking it slow.. Hmm.. Working on it one step at a time. And no, I will not deprive myself from simple pleasures in life.. like going out to buy stuff, off to tea with friends, and going home early to go to the gym.
And men...? Ah.. they'll always be a mental (and emotional) torture, but since you can't get rid of them, you might as well learn to live with them, kan? So as it is, I fought with the 'man' again. We didn't fight la.. I just accused him of doing something (which I'm sure he did, though he refused to admit it) and then he got fed up.. 'Why don't you come over and check?' he said. I knew the thing I was looking for will not be at the place he said it would be, but I malas nak gaduh. So I said: 'My apologies for making such an accusation.'
Bukannya nak concede defeat, tapi, when you're talking to a dumb cow, no point wasting your breath trying to make the cow understand.. kan? So you just leave it la.. (By the way, I am NOT making an equation between men and cows.. There are in fact, plenty of nice, smart men out there..).
Eh okay lah.. Have to go. Enough blogging for the day. There are better things to do than blog, you know... hahahhahah......
ps./ If you're wondering if we're 'back together', stop wondering. We're not. At least, we're not seeing each other lah. We are on talking terms, though, and I think that's cool. And yes, I can live with the occasional 'I miss you, sayang..' :-)
I watched Oprah today. Woke up at 8.30am.. watched some cartoons on Disney and then switched to StarWorld.
Yes.. a change, definitely. I've been waking up at around 10 these days that my mom is beginning to worry. 'Makes no difference if it's a weekday or weekend. You still won't wake up before 10..'
Which is true.. With the exception of Saturday (where I woke up at 6am), one won't catch me out of bed before 9am. Even then, they'd be lucky if they can get me out of bed before 9.30am.
Work starts at 10am for me, but I'd simply sail in an hour late. Do I care? Obviously not.
To be totally honest, I've been feeling like I'm going through life in the dark. I felt so lost and alone. Life seemed so empty and meaningless. I got annoyed easily, snapped at people conveniently, got touchy for no apparent reason and would be moody according to my fancy.
Then I watched Oprah. The talk today revolved around women and having children. Some were complaining that their lives had changed when the baby comes along.
'Haha.. I don't need a baby to feel so lethargic and alone.' I smirked.
And then this one woman (can't remember her name) stood up and shared. She said that you can't blame a baby for your misery. Life's like that. It's how you deal with things that matters.
It snapped me. I realise that I've been complaining too much. Just because I'm having a rough time with a guy, doesn't mean I'm entitled to depression.
So there are many jerks out there - men who don't deserve even half of my time or attention. But I can't let them affect me.
I got up from the couch and hit the showers. I looked around and realise that there are still loads of things to do. Wash the toilet, clean my closet, clear my dressing table.. basically, get my life in order.
The sad thing is, I've been neglecting myself. My room's in a mess; a true reflection of my life. They say that your room/house/car depicts your life. And if you look at my room and car, you know how messy my life is.
But today, I want to get my life back. I made a mental note to sort out my clothes, clean my bathroom and make my room more presentable. I want to start bothering again to brush my teeth and clean my face before I hit the bed each night. I have not used the facial masque I bought weeks ago, so maybe I should wear them tonight.. haha..
So work is bad, I realise. But by being grumpy, it wouldn't change anything kan? I might as well learn to enjoy it.. So I'm taking it easy at work. Ya Tuhan.. kerja memang lah banyak.. tapi I'm taking it slow.. Hmm.. Working on it one step at a time. And no, I will not deprive myself from simple pleasures in life.. like going out to buy stuff, off to tea with friends, and going home early to go to the gym.
And men...? Ah.. they'll always be a mental (and emotional) torture, but since you can't get rid of them, you might as well learn to live with them, kan? So as it is, I fought with the 'man' again. We didn't fight la.. I just accused him of doing something (which I'm sure he did, though he refused to admit it) and then he got fed up.. 'Why don't you come over and check?' he said. I knew the thing I was looking for will not be at the place he said it would be, but I malas nak gaduh. So I said: 'My apologies for making such an accusation.'
Bukannya nak concede defeat, tapi, when you're talking to a dumb cow, no point wasting your breath trying to make the cow understand.. kan? So you just leave it la.. (By the way, I am NOT making an equation between men and cows.. There are in fact, plenty of nice, smart men out there..).
Eh okay lah.. Have to go. Enough blogging for the day. There are better things to do than blog, you know... hahahhahah......
ps./ If you're wondering if we're 'back together', stop wondering. We're not. At least, we're not seeing each other lah. We are on talking terms, though, and I think that's cool. And yes, I can live with the occasional 'I miss you, sayang..' :-)
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