Part 4: Finale - Merdeka celebrations/A New Beginning

Merdeka this year is a bit different. There are lesser cars with flags (even I don't have a flag on my car cuz Pet*ronas just don't seem to be giving out flags anymore); the mood is more sombre.

But for me, it's one of my most meaningful 'merdeka' in many years.

For one, I finally found the courage to 'liberate' myself. To free myself from unworthy men, and to free myself from ngative thoughts.

Yeah.. I've been such a pessimist and pathetic person of late. Clinging on to men and friendship, hoping that things will work out well in the end. But the fact remains that I can't make people change to suit my needs. As much as I can't make men fall at my feet, I can't expect people to be nice and friendly to me, kan?

So this 'merdeka', I've decided to grow up a little. And part of the learning process involves me letting go of certain people. If they don't want to be with me, I've just got to let them go, kan?

I want to be more serious too. I need to re-focus my thoughts and energy. I have to start setting new goals and deadlines, and start thinking about my future. I can't be working for n*st forever kan? As much as I love writing, I don't think I want to end up 'dead' or 'retired' in the organisation.

It's time to learn as much as I can, and then move on to learn other new things. Life is, after all, a learning process kan?

Ultimately, I've got to decide what I want to do before I hit 30. Maybe I should have that list ready soon..

What I want to do/achieve before I reach 30..

I've been quite complacent of late. But that's not good.. cuz people and the environment change all the time. Yes.. it's time to take out that notepad and start formulating plans and goals again.. :-)