THIS, made my day... and I just have to blog it!
(sent by an angel... thank you for making me laugh!)

I WILL SURVIVE

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord, I almost died
But I'd spent oh so many years
Just waiting for a man that long
That I grew strong
And I knew that I could take you on. . .

But there you are
Another lie
I was ready for a Big Mac
And you've bought me a French fry
I should have known that it was bullshit
Just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking underneath those jeans.

Go on now go
Walk out the door
Don't you promise me 10 inches
then turn up with only 4
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.

(Chorus)
I will survive
I will survive
Cos as long as I have batteries
My sex life is gonna thrive
I will always have good sex
With a handful of latex
I will survive
I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little winky
trying to stand tall and proud
But to hell with all your egos
And to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my loving
For a cordless multispeed

Go on now go
Just make a dash
Last time I saw a prick that small
Was watching Gladstone run nude hash
I should have asked for confirmation
Should have asked for referees
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.

Go on now go
Just hit the track
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers
Cos I'll always throw them back
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours
Is to stick it with a tooth pick
And dip it in tomato sauce

(Chorus)

Go on now go
Get out of my sight
I'm going back to my appliance
Cos I know it's length is right
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door
You'll be counting up your inches
As you pick them off the floor.

Go on now Go!